Monthly Archives: September, 2014

Mock the digital week: school’s out, sticky-backed plastic’s in

25 July: Predictable, really. Schools break up for the summer – and within minutes, the industry has regressed to its sticky-backed-plastic roots.

Sadly, though, behavioural problems are already starting to surface among some of the community’s more unruly members. You know who we’re talking about – the ones who note with interest that the school holidays have begun because it means, technically, that they’re no longer excluded.

For instance, we’re slightly disappointed with Marques Brownlee. We asked him if he fancied doing a craft project, using cornflakes packets and washing up liquid containers (with the branding removed). No, he replied, he had something else in mind. So we were intrigued to see what it was.

Lovely work, Marques. And we’re not criticising, really we’re not… it’s just that, well…. And, please, can you hand in that knife at the end of play group?

Also giving slight cause for concern were the boys and girls who, having fallen under the influence of ring-leader Bas van de Poel, got together to turn a panoply of the world’s most destructive computer viruses into pretty and brightly-coloured pictures. It’s not the pictures we’re worried about, Bas. Not as such. More your unhealthy fascination with what you term “evil.”

Also flirting with the naughty step, surely, were the members of a craft project group calling themselves Hack the Art World. Again, plenty of primary colours in evidence here, but we’re not entirely convinced that the inspiration for this comes out of a wholly positive place. Those nice people at Google have feelings too, you know.

We’re not suggesting that all this week’s art projects were child-like. Some of them were sophisticated. Some were very sophisticated indeed. Take, for instance, The Week’s good friend and biggest fan, Cindy Gallop, who was down in her dungeon-style playroom building a model of a new type of advertising agency out of frilly black lace and latex rubber.

Meanwhile, the craziest project of all was proposed by those wacky funsters at iProspect, who want to import something called “creativity” into digital advertising.

You guys! What are you like?

Count your blessing, though. This is what play-group looks like in China.

Anyway… we say: enjoy the summer. Live in the moment. You’ll soon be back studying hard for your “how-to-take-a-selfie” A Level. And this year the course will be more fiendish than ever because, controversially, it will now include academic course materials drawn from the discipline of Sociology. OK – semi-academic materials.

But still – answering questions and stuff is so last-century.

Back in the routinely-surreal world of Big Tech, the most harrowing question of the week was: Do You Have a Problem With Your Mobile Strategy? Apple’s response was basically: Are you serious? Google pretended it hadn’t heard the question. And Facebook smiled smugly.

Meanwhile, our provocatively dumb question of the week was: Does the server need to die to save the internet?

And our most potentially intrusive: Are you getting enough fibre? Actually, though, we might soon be moving to the post-fibre age. In particular, we loved this spoof article in Wired about how to conjure a cable network out of thin air.

What? It’s not a spoof? Whatever. All we know for sure is that this piece succeeds where Einstein failed and manages to monkey around with the speed of light.

And… talking of the speed of light brings us rather neatly to our final port of call this week: Matthew Hook at Carat. As you probably know, we’re very enthusiastic about our recently unveiled plans to develop The Week into an online shopping portal – and we’ve targeted, as a possible launch partner, Matthew Hook’s brand-spanking-as-new tech emporium. If you’re hoping to replace your mobile kit or are searching for the ideal birthday gift, there’s really no better place to go. He has a wide selection of brands and models to choose from.

Even more importantly, though, Matthew has apparently hit on a novel “inventory sourcing paradigm” – one that could have major implications for the way that the retail industry is structured across all sectors.

We wish him well.